As the Dust Settles and the Ink Dries...

Now that GM/dingbat/abuse sponge Allard Baird has gone on his contractual tirade, flinging fountain pens at potential acquisitions like he was in the House of Flying Daggers, I can't help but sit back with my carton of leftover Chinese food and murmur to myself .. now what am I supposed to do 'til pitchers and catchers report? How long can I get by on cheesy, off-beat pop culture references? What's a buttfor?

What had been a roster that looked like swiss cheese is now largely decided, leaving me to ponder the mundane. Is Ken Harvey bound to land a contract us? It's okay to cringe, I did. Twice.

But let's take a pause from issues dealing solely with the internal workings of the Royals. Shall we indulge a bit and visit our divisional rivals off-season undertakings -- and hope for their undoing? I know what team you think I'll start with, and you couldn't be more right..

Tigers: Ah, Detroit .. able to hide from ridicule by being in the same division as us. Despite a clear commitment from Mike Ilitch to make the team a contender, the results have come to a plateau, as their 72 wins in 2004 failed to continue their ascent in '05, at 71. The additions of Ivan Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez, and Troy Percival haven't translated to a winning season, although to be fair Percy and Mags were big disappointment's in 2005, and I-Rod's production slipped. Kenny Rogers and Todd Jones have been added, but the team also lost Jason Johnson, who ate 200 average innings yesteryear, leaving the rotation with at least three lefties, and perhaps four if Wil Ledezma outduels 98mph-hurling Justin Verlander for the job in spring training. Offensively, Chris Shelton was a big success story in his rookie run, and Curtis Granderson figures to have a 15 HR/15 SB season, but the problem with this offense is that they're bogged down with support hitters, and no anchor. Dmitri Young, Craig Monroe, Carlos Guillen .. all great compliments to an offense, but without a legit run producer, their numbers will stay harnessed.

Although Bonderman has the physical components to eventually be a #1, with no established elite player in either the rotation or the lineup, the Tigers look doomed to another season of looking up at 3/4ths of the Central. Prediction: 75-87, 4th.

Twins: The three-year bully of a division that wasn't equal to the challenge found that their crafty way of business was not nearly a match for the talent-laden twosome that roared past them in 2005, leaving them to fade badly down the stretch, and decide how to recover in hopes of competing next year. Always frugal with their roster turnover, the Twins made modest changes in there areas of need. Luis Castillo was brought in to get on base (and replace the inept Luis Rivas), and Rondell White was added to play DH/OF and hit line drives -- while healthy. They rid themselves of Joe Mays, and refused to chase Jacque Jones to a three-year deal. Obviously, the belief is that the current foundation can win, and they're probably right. Justin Morneau was a disappointment in 2005, hitting just .239 with 22 homers and 79 RBI. Those numbers will improve, and as Morneau goes, so goes Minnesota. Also, hot prospect Francisco Liriano got a taste of the majors last year, and it clearly suited him. He's ready to match Johan Santana's K/IP now, although the walk rate will surely be higher. Still, two wicked lefties is hard to beat.

Between them, phenom catcher Joe Mauer, Morneau, and the return of Torii Hunter, Minnesota will be right back in the mix next year. Prediction: 89-63, 2nd

Indians: God, so envious of this organization .. and so disappointed that they were dismantled by the Devil Rays in their September run at the White Sox. Brimming with young talent that dwarfs that of every other team in the division, Cleveland very nearly pulled off a miracle that would have completely re-written the story of the play-offs. Jake Westbrook couldn't match his 2004 performance, but he could have just as easily gone 18-12 as 15-15. C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee are going to accumulate 150 strikeouts a year for several years, and Paul Byrd and Jason Johnson are worthy replacements for Kevin Millwood and Scott Elarton, although their strikeout totals will barely equal half. I can't quite explain why, but I can't help but think this team is going to experience a setback. Aaron Boone, Ben Broussard, and Casey Blake were thorough under-performers in 2005, and all their jobs seem relatively secure, despite capable prospects waiting for their shot at the majors (Free Garko!).

This offense has all the talent to place in the top three in the AL in runs, but V-Mart's slow start in '05 didn't feel like an aberration, and other than Hafner, there are no feared sluggers to cover for that. I could easily be way off here, but I gotta go with my instincts. Prediction: 85-77, 3rd

White Sox: Man, what a volatile transformation these guys went through -- and put us through -- last year. The perennial dormant threat, the ChiSox found the formula for dominance, throttling the league for four and a half months, teetering on the brink of an epic collapse for four and a half weeks, then simply dismantling all opposition in October, posting a ridiculous 11-1 mark in the postseason on their way to a World Series sweep of the 'Stros. Ken Williams, the GM who had been the overly-willing rip-off target before positioning his team for an awe-inspiring championship run, didn't hesitate to evaluate and upgrade, quickly locking down Paul Konerko, bringing in veteran slugger Jim Thome, and further cementing the starting rotation with the acquisition of Javier Vazquez, although he upheld his reputation as not being particularly minor league-friendly by dealing three big prospects in those deals. Honestly, Buehrle/Garcia/Contreras/Vazquez/Garland is incredible, whether Garland implodes or not. Or gets dealt.

While I wouldn't rule out the Sox falling from grace, it just doesn't feel like a team that is vulnerable to it. The Twins should be back with avengeance, but barring injury or player unrest, Chicago should fend them and the Tribe off. Prediction: 96-66

You may notice that I declined to lay out a prediction for the Royals. While I may still go into detail at some point, I think this says pretty clearly where I feel we're destined (or rather, doomed) to finish. Don't get too down, though. We've got not place to go but up. Or idle. Sigh ..